(Source: themotherofall)
(via thisisthecircus)
Tate stood silent waiting for her to say something, anything. The longer he sat in the silences the more he was becoming sure of the fact that she was not going to be happy about him daring to speak to her. He had a feeling that she would start screaming; or just tell him to go away again. He thought his heart might explode as she turned towards him. Her voice was harsh, and he could see the puffiness of her face caused from crying. He thought his heart might break as he stared at her; the only thing he wanted to do was rush over and make sure she never felt like this again.
Tate knew he couldn’t though. He knew that she would be furious, and he knew that he would deserve it. The things he had done to her family; he never expected to be forgiven for them. He hated himself for it, despised every ounce of himself. But it was hard to want to keep yourself miserable. Hard to understand that staying away would be best for the other person even if it killed you. He watched her raise her shirt to wipe away her tears. I would wipe all of your tears away, Violet. And he then stared at her lips as she spoke. He hated the things he was hearing from her- hated knowing that she was in fact just as miserable as he was; but he loved the sound of her voice. The way it flowed through his ears and caused his blood to boil.
He wasn’t sure what to say though, he wanted to tell her that she wasn’t alone. I’M RIGHT HERE, VI. His mind was nearly screaming the words. He had always been here for her; since the first day he met her. His Violet, his light shining through all the darkness he had been stuck in his whole life. He took a step forward thinking about sitting next to her; but stopped himself knowing that she wouldn’t want him that close. “I’m sorry, Vi..” He said finally, his eyes locked on the ground. I’m sorry for the horrible things that I’ve done to your family, I’m sorry for the horrible things I’ve done to so many other people, I’m sorry for leaving you all alone, I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep you happy, I’m sorry that I didn’t change sooner, I’m sorry that I ruined all of this.
Tate didn’t realize that it had happened but he suddenly felt tears pouring down his face. The only chance you had to be happy is gone. He wiped his own tears away quickly with the back of his hand, before stuffing it inside the pocket of his jeans. “Is there anything I can do?” He paused his words sounding wrong, his throat becoming more dry as he talked to her. “You shouldn’t be alone.. You should be happy..” He said quietly, more tears threatening to fall as his hands turned to fists at his side. “Or do you want me to just leave? ..I can, if that’s what you want.” It wasn’t what he wanted; he didn’t want to hear those words come from her mouth again. But if that was what she decided he would go; he knew he still had eternity to change her mind. A few more years of torture might do him well.
There was nothing coming out of Violet’s face when Tate spoke. It was like a big switch got turned off inside her. Not knowing why, she just looked at him. Great. Violet had no clue on what to really say nor do anymore. Regret is one of the biggest things she had felt at the time. Not believing him, telling him to go away. She wanted him back, but didn’t want to just throw herself at him and say that she was wrong, and it was all her fault. Violet wasn’t like that, but it’s the one thing she wish she could do.
When he asked if he should leave, Vi panicked a little. She needed Tate more than she would ever know. Why is it hard to tell you everything? If I never sent you away, everything would be okay. None of this would be happening. Nothing would play out wrong. Violet shook her head at the question, and tried to clear her throat before she spoke.
“Don’t. I didn’t believe you, I-” She cut herself off, and just looked over at Tate. Violet studied his face and noticed some tears along with hers. At this point Violet didn’t care if she was crying in front of him. There was nothing that made her care otherwise. Before speaking Violet lightly touched Tate’s hand. “You don’t need to do anything for me. I don’t deserve it.” She slowly pulled her hand away and looked back towards her feet. Vi stared at the patterns on the staircase, and sat there. ”You don’t need to leave either. I wouldn’t mind if you stayed.” She had no intention of looking up for a while. What I mean is, stay with me. Please, and never leave me. I need you, but I can’t face the fact that I didn’t listen to you. I should have. As all of these thoughts were tracing Violet’s mind, she counted every little shape down my her feet.
(via tainted--tate-deactivated201202)
(via the-girlwithoneeye)
(Source: noble-war)
Taylor shook her head as Violet was talking. She wanted to scream at her. She wasn’t listening. She didn’t get it. She stood up and walked over to Violet. “I told you, you are no different from the others!” She snapped at her coldly. “So what if she’s dead! I’m dead, you’re dead, we are all dead! And we’re going to be dead for a long fucking time so what’s the point of holding a grudge over something that isn’t going to change, when you have someone that is?” She shook her head in frustration. She knew she wasn’t going to get through to her. “Whatever, do what you want. And give me back my damn razor,” she spat, snatching it from Violet. “Just don’t take advantage of the people you have. They love you, Violet, I’ve never known love!” She began to cry again but she turned her face away from Violet. “So yeah, you’re selfish and I don’t like you.”
Violet didn’t want to admit Taylor was right, but if she didn’t soon there would be more hate towards her. “You’re right you know.” She said quietly, looking out the window in the living room. “I was holding a grudge. It’s a thing I have, and can do. It’s not easy saying goodbye to the ones you love.” A tear ran across her face, and Violet tried sucking it up and not let this girl she was having a little argue with see her. “I need to get over the fact that, I’m never going to be alive again. I want to but-” Violet cut herself off, and turned to her.
“Sure, but you and I both know i’m not like everyone else. I never was.” She said taking a deep breath in. “I didn’t mean to, you know, make you hate me. But I guess I make everyone hate me, because I am a fuck up. Just like you, I’m fucked up. Everyone is fucked up. All full of bullshit.” said Violet.
(via taylorbalthezar-deactivated2012)
